Have you ever really asked yourself this question? What do you want from this one precious life? What do you really, really want? Often it feels like life has already decided for us, am I right? Like it’s all been plotted out for us ahead of time. Do we actually get a choice? Doesn’t feel like it. But, I think with self-awareness we can begin to understand why we feel this way and begin a shift towards conscious choices for our own lives. First, lets look at the reasons we are not ‘tuned in’ to what we want from life.
Conditioning
Yes, we are ALL conditioned. Conditioned to see ourselves a certain way, to expect certain things of ourselves, to doubt ourselves and hold back from our own dreams. This is not intentional, but it is a fact. Society, family, religion. They all play their part in who we turn out to be. What we have to do is ask if we need to hold on to these pre-prescribed conditions or not. Can we choose otherwise?
Fear of being judged
Oh, my word are we worried about what everyone thinks! This is one I’ve always struggled with and honestly, I don’t know why. It’s easy to say ‘who cares what everyone else thinks’, but if we are honest we all care. This is one we need to really work through to get to the bottom of why it matters so that we can move past it. Would you say this is something you struggle with? What would it take to release this fear? I mean, what is the worst that could happen if someone judges us?
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Self-Doubt
When you put the conditioning and the fear of judgement together it creates a monster - self-doubt! You no longer trust your own dreams, abilities, purpose. The world has told you one thing and you’ve bought into it and now your own dreams feel out of reach. The self-doubt isn’t your soul speaking! It is the conditioning. You, at your core, know what you need to live a fulfilled life, you just need to learn to listen and trust yourself.
Where to from Here?
Ok, so what if we can reframe all of this through self-awareness? Through truly understanding what we want and taking steps towards making that our reality? Well, start with the first steps and go from there. Here are some powerful ways to tune in to what you want instead of what you think you should want.
1. Be Still
Your own voice cannot be heard above the noise. So, take the time everyday to be still. This can be in meditation, while journaling or while going for a walk, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you listen. You will find your connection to yourself becomes stronger through this simple practice of listening to yourself. You know when you’ve having a conversation with someone and you suddenly realize you weren’t giving them your full attention? Maybe you were off somewhere in your mind thinking about something on your to-do list? Well, this happens with our ourselves as well! You will be amazed at how the world has drowned out our own voices. Only when you sit in the stillness do you realize how much your soul has to say to you. Make a conscious choice today to listen!
2. Something is Off
Take time to look at your life. Where have you been living according to traditions, religion, family or societies expectations? Is this what you really want or is it expectations? This can be anything from a routine of going to church or sporting events, it could be the career path you’ve found yourself on or it could be staying in the same city as your family when your heart longs to move somewhere else. Ask yourself if you are allowing yourself to live a life true to your hearts desire!
3. Find your Spark
We can become so disconnected to our joy, our spark, our inspiration. Make a point of seeking out what lights you up! You could be someone who loves kayaking, a movie buff or a gardener. What ever it is ask yourself when last you spent some time engrossed in what brings you joy. The more we allow ourselves to be inspired by life the more we are listening to our soul’s call, and the more we hear that voice telling us what we really want from this one precious life.
4. Look for Support
Often we stay where we are because we feel alone, unsupported and even scared to make a change. Ask yourself who you can turn to, to talk about how you are feeling and what you really want from life. Surround yourself with like-minded people who will encourage you to be true to yourself instead of following someone else's ideal path. This can be a business networking group or an online community, a church group or your friends at your local gym.
5. Habits of Self-Belief
Our lack of self-belief is really just a nasty habit and habits can be broken. So, start by building healthy habits in your life that increase your self-belief and self-esteem over time. You may have little self-belief in getting your health on track for example but small wins build upon each other until your reaching a tipping point where you see the ‘proof’ you were waiting for: that you can do it! And all it takes is small improvements that you are consistent with day after day! The magic is in the trust you develop in yourself when you stick to the promises you keep with yourself. Once you see you can do it you believe yourself just that little bit more!
You are the Only One that Knows
If we are honest, there is a quiet voice whispering incessantly telling us exactly what we really want from this life. We ALL know what we want, but we are afraid to be bold and grab it, or we are afraid of rejection or we are afraid of judgement. So, my question to you is when is it worth it to face that rejection, judgement or fear? When is your one life worth that big scary goal or challenge? When do you sit up and say, the life I want is on the other side of my decision to GO FOR IT! And, one last question. Is it really scarier than staying where you are and never finding out what it could be like? Steph x
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
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