Worry. It’s not something we choose. It’s something that creeps in, sometimes unnoticed until it has sunk its claws into us. It’s like this cloud that follows us through life. But instead of showering us with rain it slowly suffocates us. Worry is no small thing, it is one of life’s greatest problems. And it’s one we all suffer. Worry is sneaky. One minute you thing you’ve got a handle on things, and the next you realize your breath is shallow and your nerves are shot. All the negative thoughts in the world come flooding in at once. Doomsday has arrived! And, you’ve asked yourself fa million times before why you let it happen. I mean, you know it’s not helping! You know you’re not solving any problems with this way of thinking. But, there they are, those negative thoughts that set your heart racing: ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’, ‘ What if this is the wrong decision?’ or ‘ What if I’m not good enough?’ Ironically, we worry because it makes us feel like we have some form of control over a situation that feels out of our control. But, in reality, we have more control when we don’t worry! Read that again because when you realize that you are actually taking your power away instead of giving it to yourself you may finally start to let go of your worrying thoughts.
The Hidden Cost of Worry
Because worry is such a common thing, we tend to think of it as ‘natural’ ie. Something that we just have to learn to live with. But, this way of thinking needs to change because the truth is worry is causing us so much more damage than just irritating thoughts. Worry has an emotional, mental AND physical wellbeing. Think about it this way. When you doing sit ups you contract and release your muscles. But, what if you stayed in the contracted position and didn’t release? How would your body cope? Well, your mind, emotions and yes, body don’t cope with holding yourself in a contracted position of worry continually either. Your entire nervous system is in fact on high alert! That tricky old worry is actually stopping you from releasing what is ‘worrying’ you!
Why We Worry
We mentioned that worry is trying to give us a sense of control, trying to protect us essentially. Life is tough, and scary, and we want to feel prepared for the worst case scenario at all times. But, worrying doesn’t prepare you, does it? I should know, I’ve spent most of my life being an overthinker and only now that I look back can I see what was happening. My mind was searching for the solution to a problem. But, because it was in such a state of panic it was incapable of finding one! The worry had the opposite effect to what I needed – it set me further off course. What I needed was a calmer, more grounded approach to problem solving. I needed presence of mind, not panic. I needed reasoning, not emotional overload. The next time you worry, ask yourself if you are being reasonable. There will be times in life when worry is justified, of course, but most of the time it isn’t at all! And, even when we can justify the experience of worry – it still doesn’t serve you!
Worry Steals Your Joy
Joy is found in the act of being present. Taking in the laughter of a small child or the love in your partners eyes. Worry takes us away from these present moments because we are not focused on the present, we are focusing on a non-reality. A reality that currently doesn’t exist and may never exist! And, in the meantime we are missing the moments that not only exist but make up the very gifts of this life. In essence, ‘what if’s’ are stealing your ‘right now’s’. But then something even worse happens! Once worrying becomes your default setting it has programmed you for negative thinking as a set point. Now you: don’t believe in yourself, don’t trust yourself etc etc. The snowball of negativity is picking up speed! Now, every aspect of your life requires overthinking and analyzing because, there must be something to worry about, right?!
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What You Have To Lose
Worry impacts more than you might think. Besides the fact that worry steals your joy, imagine worry in relations to these areas of your life:
Creativity:
How can you full embrace your creative side if you are worrying about everything? Worrying if your work is good enough, worrying you won’t meet a deadline etc. Creative expression cannot blossom in an environment like that.
Confidence:
How can you step forward into your future confidently if you are worrying constantly? Worry cuts you off from taking action because you second-guess every decision.
Authenticity:
How can you be authentic if you worry what everyone else thinks or worry about how you look or worry if you’ve said too much/been too loud?
You Were Never Meant to Carry It All
What if I asked you ‘Can you be ok with not having all the answers?’. With not having it all figured out, planned and under control, all the time. The truth is none of us have all the answers, and we weren’t meant to. Life is a problem to be solved. It’s an experience to embrace. That comes with unknowns. It comes with scary situations and emotional upheaval, but it is real and raw and worthy of being experiences for everything that it is. Worrying only takes away from that.
Why Not Trust?
What if you could lean into trust instead? Trust in yourself. Trust in life. Trust that even if things don’t go perfectly, they’ll go right! Because life is there to help you learn, grow, and feel. You don’t have to completely let go of your fears, that would be unreasonable. What you need to do is learn to trust life just enough that you can actually enjoy it as it unfolds instead of walking through life completely overwhelmed by worry.
Begin Letting Go of Worry
Gentle shifts can make a big difference. Here are some to try:
- ### Notice Without Judgment
Instead of getting lost in your thoughts, simply notice: ‘I’m worrying again!’ Take a deep breath and ground yourself in the present moment. Remember, awareness is the first step to change.
- ### Ask Yourself: “Is This Helpful?”
If the worry leads to action (like paying a bill or calling the doctor), do it. If it doesn’t, let it go. This is a simple gauge for whether or not the worry is serving you.
- ### Practice Trust
When worry shows up, replace it with a statement of trust: ‘I trust that I’ll know what to do when the time comes.’ ‘I trust that life is unfolding for my highest good.’
- ### Be Kind to Yourself
Worry can stem from lack of self worth. If this is the case for you, learn to speak to yourself kindly, like you would to someone in your life that you love. Use positive affirmations such as ‘You’re doing your best, and that is enough’.
Perspective on Worry
Let this be your reminder that worry creates a false sense of safety. It is quite often not based in reality, but rather imagined outcomes. And, this imagination used in unproductive ways is keeping you from living your best life! The more you see this, and notice that worry steals your joy, you begin to take your power back from the lies worry has been feeding you, the more you will be able to live your most fulfilled and happy life. Your life should be guided by trust in yourself and in the universe to support you and to guide you to the best, most suitable outcome for your life. So, ask yourself honestly today if you’ve been letting worry hold you back. And, what do you plan on doing about it? Steph x Liked this blog? You might like this one too: What Is Enough, And Do I Already Have It?