I’ve always found it fascinating that we don’t even know what we want for ourselves. The question ‘what do I want?’ plagues us. It niggles at our brains and somehow we struggle to answer it. Shouldn’t we instinctively have the answers to this question? Well, sadly, no. It’s a loaded question after all. There are so many layers to it. So many expectations that come with it. So many influences that can change the answer. What do I want is a question that needs to be answered, though, no matter how long it takes or how many times we have to look ourselves in the mirror and wait for an honest answer. Why? Because when you have the true answer, it will serve as a guide for your life unlike any other. But, it’s deep, so you have to be willing to go there with yourself!
Figuring it Out
Ok, so I’d like to look at 6 ways that we can extract the answers to this question. What do I want? Do I even know? Here are 6 ways you can get closer to answering this question:
1. Notice your Mood Shifts
There are a thousand examples from our lives that can help us check if we are in alignment or not. But, we are missing a lot of them because we aren’t tuned in. When it’s time to move on from a job, for example, you may find you start feeling resentment or find yourself snapping when asked to do something that you previously would have done willingly. This is a clear indication of what you don’t want, so pay attention. Or, on the positive end of things, you notice a shift in your mood when you go from a busy work environment to a work-from-home environment and you find you feel more centered, calmer and get more work done. This would be a clear sign that you’ve made a choice in the direction of what you do want. The examples are endless and personal, so consider what shifts you may experience from a change of scenery in your own life.
2. Jealousy as a Clue
This one is both fascinating and full of wisdom when you really take a close look at how it affects you in your life, and I love talking about this one because people often don’t even consider it. Jealousy can be a dangerous thing, if left unchecked. BUT, it can also be a massive green highlighter showing you what you want and what you need to go after in life. It stirs up emotions in us, and it’s up to us to identify the cause of the emotions and respond in the correct (productive) way. Some great examples of this are when you feel that pang of jealousy watching someone jet setting around the world (hand up, so guilty!) and another could be watching someone express themselves authentically and wishing you could be as brave. Yes, you may feel jealous but there’s a message and a lesson there for you! It’s saying ‘go for it’, or ‘what’s stopping you, you can do this too!’. Look for lessons in your jealousy, and start to ask yourself some questions about why you feel the way you feel.
3. Travel back in Time
Our greatest clues can be found in our childhood. When we were younger, we didn’t filter out what we wanted because of the ‘voice of reason’ telling us ‘that’s not a real job’ or ‘you’ll never make money doing that’. We followed our urges, our desires, our excitement. We did what felt good and right to do. If this isn’t a clue, I don’t know what is. Now you need to ask yourself, what made us buy into the stories that told us what we love isn’t ‘realistic’? Go back to your childhood and think about what you enjoyed doing. Did you love to draw or to write? Maybe you wanted to be a ballet dancer? Or you loved cooking more than anything? This isn’t about career, career, career either. I mean, for many it can be that we should have chosen a path that we were told wasn’t realistic but more importantly how does this long forgotten passion fit into the picture of ‘what do I want?’. What does your soul call for? Whether it’s for work or for play doesn’t matter. What matters is that you don’t lose ANY parts of yourself in favour of the so-called voices of reason.
4. What is a ‘Hell No’?
More clues! We seldom look at our lives in terms of what is a ‘hell no’, and this is a missed opportunity for clarity. I know you might be thinking, well a hell no isn’t something I need to worry about because I would naturally avoid it at all costs, but ask yourself if you’ve ever found yourself in a situation that’s actually a hell no without realizing it. There are people all around the world working 12hr days. People driving 2hrs to work every day. There are people working in stuffy buildings or alongside personalities that they clash with. These are ‘hell no’ environments to many, many people. So, maybe one of these works fine for you and another wouldn’t. Which is your ‘hell no’?
5. Be more Present
You might find this a strange one, but the more you tune into your body, emotions and reactions to life, the more aware you become of what works and what doesn’t for you. You become tuned into yourself. Mindfulness and meditation are wonderful tools for this and the more you practice them the more benefit you will enjoy. Take some time to get used to being mindful. Sitting still and just watching, whether it’s people watching at the beach or your children playing at home. Take in the experiences and see how they make you feel. Do you want more of one experience than another? This may seem simple and it is, but stop and think about your own thought processes for a moment. What makes you feel good? What makes you feel bad?
6. Listen to your Inner Voice
The last, and ultimately the most important point is to be still for long enough to listen to your inner voice, your soul, your higher self. Not only does your soul know what you really want, it also knows the timeline for how and when it will all come together for you. This is a sticking point because sometimes we think we want something but our soul knows we're not ready for it. We can still ask the question, listen to our deepest inner truth and get the answer we were hoping to get but we may find the time has come for us to practice a little bit of patience. Faith plays a huge part in allowing our lives to unfold for us. So, when all is said and done, getting the answer to 'what do I want?' is only the beginning! And, to me, it's the beginning of a spiritual journey because it comes with a process of listening, opening your heart, alignment, surrender and love. If this isn't the process for you, ask yourself if your question 'want do I want?' is being asked on a more superficial level. And, maybe add in a 'What do I REALLY want?'. Steph x If you enjoyed this blog, head over and check out this one: Using Automatic Writing to Tap Into Your Inner Wisdom JOIN OUR COMMUNITY! 