When last did you take a moment to think about who you identify as? What is identity? Beyond the role of Mother, Daughter, Boss. Who are you? For some this may seem like a strange question. I’m just me! And, yes, that’s true, but it’s the ‘just’ that I have a problem with. We put so much importance on the labels that society places on us and so little on the ‘me’! When the ‘me’ is who we really need to identify with. Your identity needs to be linked to the truth and beauty of who you are as a soul, not who you are on paper. And, to the question 'Is your identity set in stone?', I would argue 'No, not at all!'.
What is Identity?
Our identity is the soup that we’ve been adding flavours to our entire lives. It’s – cultures, values, past experiences and beliefs. It’s the entire lot thrown in together and it happens without us even realizing it. It has formed an image in our minds of who we are in the world, where we fit in and how we should behave. But, just because we have an identity doesn’t mean it’s our truth! Many of these influences have slowly crept in over time, even years, and created our known experience. We’ve accepted them as our truth without question.
Where identity shows up
Think about the different areas of your life and try to think about how you identify yourself in these areas. For example, in social settings, are you the introvert, the peacekeeper, the ‘Mother figure’? What about cultural identity? This looks like what language you speak, what country you come from or what religion you are. All of these affect the way you see yourself and help to build your self identity. Another area that affects your identity is your values. These are the core principles that guide your decision making in life. Your values help you define what matters most to you, what is right or wrong in your mind, what you stand for and how you define your purpose in life.
Painting a Picture
If you look at how all these areas come together you can start to understand why we create an identity for ourselves based on these influences. Or should I say it is created for us! Without even realizing it we become someone that fits a clear description. The question is, is this the whole picture? Or is there more to us than our identity? Can we change it? Can we change our identity if it doesn’t align with our hopes and dreams anymore? The answer is YES! We can completely shift our identity if we wake up one day and realize it no longer fits in with what we envisioned for ourselves. We can make it better! 
Who Do you Want to Be?
Who says we have to be stuck with the identity we found ourselves in? What if today marked the day that you chose to shift the way you see yourself to a more empowering version? One where you have stronger boundaries, you speak up for yourself and you’re confident in who you are. One where you walk tall and fall in love with yourself for exactly who you are. What kind of life could you live if you identify with all the best parts of you? Imagine a life where you are living according to your values and you are shining your light as brightly as you can out into the world. What’s stopping you from living this life? Is it your current identity? Are you: too shy, too set in society’s ways? Too afraid of change?
A New Identity
So, you realize your current identity is slightly out of alignment with your values, hope and dreams. Now what? Well, now it’s time to realize you don’t have to accept what is no longer in alignment. It’s time to take those first steps towards making a shift. Starting today, you can become the person you want to identify with! If you no longer want to be identified as the introvert, what steps can you take to make a change? If you’re tired of being identified as Mom (as much as you love your children) maybe it’s time to fire up your passions that were alive in you long before you became a mother. If you’re ready to step away from the identity of the people pleaser, what kind of boundaries do you need to put in place to be able to do that?
It's a Choice
Our identity sets like jelly over time without us realizing it’s happening. But, when you take the time to pick apart where yours comes from and why it is the way it is, you CAN begin to shape a new one. You DO get to choose what to identify with in this life. Even better, you get to create it from scratch. First, you have to have a very clear image of who you do want to identify with (or as). You have to decide: this person I would be so proud to be looks like….. And then take action! Is this person: confident, passionate, pro-active, determined, outspoken. Or, maybe your version looks like: calm, compassionate, organized. Find what you would choose, if you had a choice. Because, you do! Start with small steps towards the person you want to become and build on that. Create the life you long for! Steph x If you enjoyed this blog, head over and check out this one: Finding Joy in the Little Things Pin for later! or design your own on Canva 